Swottin (Scots word for swotting/studying) is the second episode of the third series of Still Game.

Series Name
Season 3, Episode 2
Air date 14 May 2004
Written by Ford Kiernan and Greg Hemphill
Directed by Michael Hines
Episode Guide


The episode opens in Victor's house with Jack and Victor asleep. They both feel that they are in a bad routine of falling asleep in the afternoon, coupled with the fact they have nothing to talk about. Jack and Victor are in need of an activity.

Meanwhile, in the Clansman, Boaby is complaining how young people are avoiding his pub and that he is losing trade as a result. Boaby blames it on the OAPs being a put off for young people, however, Winston along with Eric and Tam bluntly tell Boaby that it is because he is a "wanker".

Jack and Victor take a walk outside and see an advert for an adult education course at the University. They feel they should give this a try.

In the Clansman, the regulars are trying to suggest theme nights such as a 'Mexican Night', however, Boaby doesn't like this idea. Peggy suggests a quiz night, which Boaby agrees to.

At Glasgow University, Jack and Victor look at courses they would fancy. They agree on a medical course.

Boaby holds auditions for the quizmaster. The first two candidates prove to be unsuitable such as the elderly Wully MacIntosh, who is incompetent and Mark, who is too aggressive. Jack and Victor come into the pub and boast about their course. Just then, a beautiful young woman named Margo comes in and Boaby immediately appoints her as the quizmaster.

Jack and Victor are soon attending lectures and they have fun in the museum. They soon find the cost of a cheap drink from the union too great to resist.

In Navid's shop, Isa tells Navid that she thinks there may be a romance between Boaby and Margo, although Navid dismisses this. Navid says how much he enjoys watching quiz shows on TV like 'The Weakest Link', but he goes into a furious rant of how much he hates Anne Robinson, which scares Isa slightly.

Jack and Victor continue to party rather than attend lectures and classes and they end up with two F's as a result. Meanwhile, in the Clansman, Boaby plucks up the courage to ask Margo for a curry after the quiz and she accepts. Boaby is pleased and chances his arm by slapping Margo's bottom. Unfortunately, Margo takes offence and she beats up Boaby. Margo then storms out of the pub in disgust.

The future is looking grim for the quiz night. Furthermore, Jack and Victor are humilated at failing their course. Of course, they brag to Winston that they got two A's and Winston wants them on his team. The quiz is saved when Edith (the ugly woman from Courtin) comes in and asks for a pint of Guiness. She is given the role of quizmaster.

The quiz gets underway. The final question is a medical related one which Jack and Victor fail to answer correctly. The woman who does get it right is heavily pregnant and her excitement causes her to go into labour. Isa asks Jack and Victor to help out with their medical knowledge, but they faint at the sight of the blood. Winston and Boaby also faint while the pregnant woman screams in agony.

After the credits roll, Boaby awakes in bed with memories of his beating the night before. To his horror, he realises he slept the night with Edith.