Scran (Scots word for food/eating) is the sixth episode of the second series of Still Game.

Series Name
Season 2, Episode 6
Air date 2 May 2003
Written by Ford Kiernan and Greg Hemphill
Directed by Michael Hines
Episode Guide


The episode opens with a snack van pulling in next to a building site. The snack van owner appears to be cheerful.

Meanwhile, Jack and Victor are watching television. The programme is about an 83 year old man, named Pat, who could not stand retirement, and set up a new pallets business at the age of 78. Jack and Victor think Pat is daft.

As for Navid, his wife, Meena, has been on the phone to Navid's sister. Meena tells Navid that his brother has died.

In the Clansman, the building site workers are breaking for a pint. The snack van owner comes in and starts fussing about the cleanliness. It turns out that the snack van owner's name is Vince. Eric tells Tam that Vince used to be unhygienic and once poisoned the whole of Yarrows. However, Vince seems to be popular with the building site workers, who had bought food from him earlier that day. They seemed impressed.

That evening, Navid arrives at Jack's house. Navid tells Jack and Victor that his brother has died and asks them as a favour to look after the shop in his absence. This is because Jack once ran a shop. Jack and Victor agree to doing so, as it is only for a week.

The next morning, Isa tells Winston that Jack and Victor are looking after Navid's shop. Winston then recognises Vince from his days at Yarrows. Winston is not happy to see Vince, especially as he was responsible for giving him food poisoning. Vince tries to defend himself, but Winston vows to report him to the authorities for still working in the catering business.

In Navid's shop, Jack and Victor are having fun working, when Winston arrives. He asks for a job, and Jack and Victor agree to take him on. Winston suggests that they start serving hot food to the customers. They are reluctant at first, but they soon get into the swing of things. Winston's plan is to take business away from Vince.

After a busy and successful day, Jack, Victor and Winston go to the Clansman for a pint. They are applauded by the building site workers, but are also confronted by Vince, who suggests that he may ruin their business. Winston tells Jack and Victor to ignore Vince.

Next day is a busy day for Jack and Victor. Winston has been away at the Cash n Carry, with expansions to their business. That evening, however, Winston is feeling ill. Boaby the barman is off sick, and the Clansman is almost empty, except for Vince. Suddenly, Winston does a squelchy fart and goes off to the toilets.

It turns out that many people are down with diarrhoea. Jack and Victor are sure that it cannot be from their shop, as it is spotless. Just then, Victor discovers CCTV footage of Vince breaking in and pouring laxatives into the soup. Winston is livid that Vince has done it to him again.

It's not long before the building site workers are better. They have returned to Vince's snack bar for their lunch. Jack and Victor arrive with the intention of making peace. Vince accepts, and even lets Jack and Victor have two rolls and sausage on the house. However, Jack and Victor shout out that there is cockroaches in their rolls and a large bug crawls out under Vince's hat. His van is infested with vermin, which has been planted by Winston in revenge.

When Navid returns from India, he is barely in the shop two minutes, when Vince crashes through the wall with his van. Fortunately, Jack, Victor and Navid survive.

After the credits roll, the three men are being interviewed by BBC. The driver of the van has escaped, but Jack and Victor do not reveal his identity.